"They're all dead"

H/T AZ.

How an Engineer Eats Oysters

Grasp the lemon in your hand. Firmly squeeze the lemon juice all over the oysters.

Next, mix your cocktail sauce. Add approximately 40/60 ketchup/horseradish and stir. The real judge is the smell and the color. The cocktail sauce should have a pinkish hue.

Next, open a package of crackers. Take one out. Spread on a layer of cocktail sauce 1/8" thick. It should look like this:

Every hole on the cracker should retain some cocktail sauce.

Take your oyster fork and free the little guy from the shell. Place him on the cracker.

Down the hatch!

Repeat at least 11 times.