Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Penalties of Lemons

For driver's that misbehave, there are a multitude of punishments devised by sadistic judges. Here's a sample.
Penalty Board
The Penalty Board. Spin out, spin the wheel.

Penalty Pig
Penalty Pig. Welded to the car by the Arc Angel. Note the Chief Perpetrator (Jay, the organizer) in the photo, too.

Another penalty involved everyone on your team getting decked out in beads and parading around the entire pit area (~1/4 mile long loop) chanting "we are horrible drivers."

100. I will not go four off.
The Bart Simpson Penalty. You get the picture. And yes, they did write it 100 times on their hood. There's also the related rambling email punishment where drivers must write out several paragraphs explaining why their penalty is unjust.

The Bobby Bosch Penalty involves a pile of relays and you have to figure out which one is dead. As long as you have a multimeter, shouldn't be too hard.

The Burning Man Penalty. The offending team must pitch a tent, everyone has to get inside, and then the most awful techno music in the world (DJ Mix - Hidro-Ponik - Hadron Particles) is blasted into the tent. There is one track on the CD that is over one hour long! The link to download the song is 2 MP3's that are each over 100 megs.

I noted this one on the list:
The Bobby Jindal: "Judge Johnny wanted an excuse to do an exorcism. Maybe he'll just resort to simple voodoo, but if he gives you this one, he'll probably be making it up as he goes."

We'll see if it gets implemented.

The final penalty, I'll leave to Candice to cover later. The judges picked up a calender full of shirtless male models. The offending driver has to strip and replicate the poses until the female attendees are satisfied he's matched the pose on the calender...


New Orleans Ladder said...

Jeez Louie!
I notice you didn't mention the "Zombie" stop... still afraid they gonna run one for mayor, eh?

Leigh C. said...

I love how they get the kids involved in administering the penalties...

Clay said...

There were a lot of kids there. Surprising, considering how dangerous it is out there. Most of the kids seemed to be familiar enough with cars to know to stay way out of the way.

Sometimes having the kids involved is a bit, um, interesting. Like the kid holding up the male model poster.