Today's History Lesson: A Chicken in Every Pot

Who was the first person to say "a chicken in every pot?" Not Huey Long or FDR. It was Henry IV of France:

Si Dieu me prête vie, je ferai qu’il n’y aura point de laboureur en mon royaume qui n’ait les moyens d’avoir le dimanche une poule dans son pot!

(If God spares me, I will ensure that there is no working man in my kingdom who does not have the means to have a chicken in the pot every Sunday!)

Henry cared about the French people and wanted them to be well enough that each family would be well enough that they could slaughter a chicken and enjoy the meat at least once a week, without worrying about the loss in egg production. Eggs were an important source of everyday protein.

What did he get for his trouble? A knife in the back from a crazy priest who thought he was the Anti-Christ.

Batt in 'Bidness?

Midura will not run for reelection. Also, note the list of possible contenders at the end. She's gotten burt out on the long hours, low pay, away from her family, while fighting incompetence, intransigence, and corruption. Thank you Mrs. Midura for your service to the city. Special thanks for your letter that kept the pressure on Eddie Jordan and was one of the many things that led to his resignation.

My first thought was this clears the road for Jay Batt to retake his seat on the Council. He's spent a lot of time building up his strength, he's lost a lot of weight and looks a lot healthier. He was elected to the council because everyone decided that, "Hmm. We need a pro-business Republican on the Council." He promised a grocery store for Carrolton. He gets on the council and (SURPRISE!) he takes the side of businesses over residents. Residents got shafted over the new Bruno's and the Tulane/Uptown Square acquisition (among MANY, MANY others). Suddenly, what District A needs is Anybody But Batt. The Riverbend-area residents especially hated his guts.

I will give him this: he did exactly what he said he was going to do on the council. How many politicians can say that? The will of the people was properly reflected in his first and second elections.

Jay Batt may be the front runner now, but he's still got some big hurdles to face. Residents still remember and hate him, even though he has great name recognition. Personally, I think his biggest mistake was opening his big fat mouth on Vitter's prostitution scandals. Video here. The last thing Batt needs is for people to be talking about prostitution during his race. Had he kept his mouth shut, it would have been a personal matter that would have been unfair to bring up in the race. Since he opened his mouth, there are several openings for an opponent. For example, "Mr. Batt, do you still believe Senator Vitter should step down?" If he says no, he loses the good-government/anti-corruption vote. If he says yes, then things get really interesting...

If he loses over the prostitution stuff, he has nobody to blame but himself. It was a huge tactical blunder. His reelection might have gone "out the window" with that slip.

All of that being said, Batt is a fun guy in person and I wish him the best personally. I just don't know if he's the best man for the job.

UPDATE- Don't miss Ashley Morris' bio of Jay Batt. "Jay Batt is Evil."

Also, here's one of Shelley's campaign commercials:

Batt does the boogie-woogie.

Bad week for Goldman Sachs

If you haven't read The Great Bubble Machine by Matt Taibbi, take the time to do so. It's a very broad article, so it doesn't nail Goldman down as well as a more specific article and it's by no means a complete catalog of their sins, but it captures the scope of Goldman's transgressions and reach.

Goldman Sachs has called even more attention to Taibbi's piece by howling about the article. Here's Taibbi vs. Van Praag (Goldman Vice President/PR-guy nicknamed "Von Doom").

Even the NY Times noted the Goldman's PR shitstorm: The dense revolving-door conflicts of interest are appalling. Goldman is howling about Taibbi’s article, but the bottom line was articulated last week by the economic blogger Felix Salmon of Reuters. He wrote that he couldn’t “think of a single government regulation over the past couple of decades which has remotely harmed Goldman Sachs” as opposed to the many that “have done it a world of good.”

And just to cap it off, a hacker stole some of their secret trading code and shipped it to Eastern Europe.

I think the most devastating indictment of Goldman Sachs came from analyzing their trading for major clients (universities, pension funds, etc.). Zero Hedge has been tracking their trades for major clients and developed a compelling case of Goldman front running major trades. Goldman will buy up some shares, then process the (large volume) purchases for their client, then sell their front-run shares. The institutional purchase will be so large, it moves the market. Goldman is shafting their client and putting trust in the whole system at risk for a fairly small pot of money. How did Goldman respond to Zero Hedge? They pressured the NYSE to stop releasing data that caught their hand in the cookie jar.

There is one bright spot out there: among the requirements being considered in new banking regulations: extremely large reserve requirements for mega-corporations (Citi/Goldman/etc.). Now there's a regulation that would put a crimp on Goldman. If you pose a lot of risk to the system, you have to carry around extra reserves to go along with your risk. We'll see what happens with the regulation.

UPDATE: Goldman will be laughing all the way to the bank. Massive profits for the last remaining investment bank.

"At a time when the supposedly progressive party controls all the political branches of the federal government, our economy is being run like a glorified banana republic." -LGM

Meanwhile, Krugman says more signs pointing to a jobless recovery.

Jindal gets fair warning to knock that shit off

Lightning Strikes Capitol
Originally uploaded by Teddy Smith

Bobby Jindal better watch out:

(Via Reddit)

Hey reddit, I'm a photographer way down here in Louisiana and long time reddit reader. I was out shooting a poster for a movie when a lightning bolt struck right down the middle of our capitol building. Interestingly, this was the same day our governor signed off on dozens of controversial new bills. Coincidence? Yeah, probably.

Anyway, the high resolution image can be examined here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/teddysmith/3683940164/sizes/o/

It's one frame, 30 second exposure. The bolt struck about half a second after I tripped the shutter and it was a VERY LONG 29.5 second wait to see what turned out.

Happy 4th of July

Beer + Gunpower =

God Bless America!

For WTF moments, dial J for Japan

RoboGeisha. H/T Jalopnik. Now I just have to figure out what the hell is going on.

Basket Transfer

Basket Transfer
Originally uploaded by Noladishu

How do you get on and off an oil rig? Well, you can take a helicopter (preferred) or you can take the boat. How do you get on the boat? Well, in the early days of the offshore industry, they had a rope and you'd go to the lowest deck and swing over to the boat like one of those horrendously dangerous rope swings from when you were a kid. No harnesses, just your hand strength. Finally someone said, 'what the fuck do you think you're doing' and now you get on and off using basket transfers.

A basket is hung from a crane. The basket is completely open, that way if it plunges in the water, you can just let go and you won't drown in the netting. You stand on a little donut and hold on. No harness. Trust me, holding on is not the issue, it's letting go. If you're exiting a platform, you do this while standing on the helideck, which is usually at least 200' above the water (at least on the bigger platforms). You hold on to the netting and stand on the platform while the basket is lowered over the water (you don't want to be lowered while over the boat, in case you fall) and then you have to let go precisely when you get near the deck, no easy feat in heavy seas.

[WARNING- SEA STORY AHEAD]

A THREE HOUR TOUR

I've only had to do a basket transfer once and it was in absolutely calm seas. The platform was fogged in and our mid-day helicopter couldn't make it. We could either wait a day for the fog to lift or take the boat. We elected to take the boat. It took hours to round up a boat. We assembled on the helideck at night. Looking down from the helideck, the sea was a long way away and pitch black. I put my gear in a locker (big chest sent down separately) and got on a life jacket. When it was my turn I stepped on to the platform and held on with all my might. You'd need an oxy-acetylene torch to break my grip. We were lowered over the ocean and you can feel every single hickup of the crane operator's brake usage. Apparently, this was his first basket transfer and it was very jerky. Like I said, holding on was not an issue. Oh yeah, and don't look down. If you're afraid of heights, they tell you not to look down (not that that's going to stop you). Got down and got to the boat. Let go. No problem.

We loaded up the boat with everyone from our platform and stopped by two other platforms. It took at least an hour to coordinate the loading at each platform. At about two or three in the morning, I took this video of a coworker who was on Cognac [PDF] doing hurricane repairs. Cognac is a fixed plaform with legs going over 1000' deep that's been producing since the late 70's (in the first offshore oil boom). It got later and later as the boat got more and more full. We eventually loaded around 80 people into a 120' long oil service boat. I teased my coworker about being on a "three hour tour" and he thought it was funny. When it got to be 4 AM and we still weren't in Port Fourchon, he wasn't amused by the "three hour tour" joke. We eventually got into port (Fourchon looks creepy that late at night).

We then had to get a "hot shot" (bus/delivery service used for parts and personnel) back to the Venice heliport, where our cars were. The bus driver was, of course, 2 hours late. He then proceeded to drive 40 mph all the way from Fourchon to Venice. Roughly 2/3 of the way through the journey, there was a riot on the bus. A bunch of oil workers, some of whom had been on a full 3 week rotation and were anxious to see their family, went up to the bus driver and threatened to throw him from the moving vehicle if he didn't speed up. I can't remember too many details because I was falling asleep in my seat. Eventually the mutiny subsided and the driver got the point and picked up speed. We got to the cars, we drove back to New Orleans, and I walked in my place in the Quarter at around 11 AM the next day. I proceeded to walk right to my bedroom and collapse face down on the bed and sleep.

... a three hour tour.


Here's some more video of basket transfers (a lot clearer than mine):

Couple of Notes on Iran

If you haven't seen the Reza Aslan interview on The Daily Show, I highly recommend it:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Reza Aslan
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

H/T Dambala.

A reminder of what the batshit insane neocons were saying just a few weeks ago:
IRAN: Stop nukes by bombing oil wells, neocons suggest. SUICIDAL FUCKING MANIACS! In Aslan's words, how important was November's election? If McCain/Palin were in charge, there would be a messy, bloody war by now.

Here's a sample on Five Thirty Eight of their excellent analysis of the electoral returns.

What's happening in Iran is far more about them than us, but there might be something solid you can do to help the "Iranian Greenies." Wired's Threat Level and the Wall Street Journal are reporting that Siemens (Germany) and Nokia (Finland) are assisting in the suppression of internet communications. Boycott Nokia and Siemens. They have far more business in the West than in Iran and should be punished for making such a stupid business decision (plus morally abhorrent, of course).

Also:
Meet the Authors:
Reza Aslan and Moira Crone
July 1, 6 to 8 p. m.
The Cabildo

The Pirate's Alley Faulkner Society and the Louisiana State Museum will cohost a reception July 1 for Reza Aslan, author of the international bestseller, No God But God, and the new book How to Win A Cosmic War. Reza, an Iranian-American who lived in New Orleans for a while, is a respected scholar and teacher in the field of religious studies and Middle East politics. He is a regular commentator on the Middle East for CBS and he also has regular guest appearances on such news/talk shows as MSNBC's Rachel
Maddow Show, most recently tonight, his third appearance in a week. Reza will discuss terrorism, Islam, and the current uprising in Iran at the event.

Engineering Programs

One of the things that surprises some recent graduates is how "worthless" your school time is. Nothing you do at work resembles what you studied at school, at least on first blush. What your schooling is supposed to do is give you a good feel for the operating principals behind what you do. Even though you don't learn about pumps or piping (or at least very little), you do learn about turbulence and friction losses.

When you're an engineer, you do most of your work with very basic tools. Books like Crane TP#410 are all you need for the majority of your work. Occasionally, you will get into more complex problems when you run into either indeterminate problems or cases that would just take too long to do by hand. In those instances, we resort to computer modeling programs. Even then, though, we back up those calcs with hand calcs when it really counts. For critical structures, like say the hull of a TLP, all computer calculations are backed up by hand, no matter how intensive.

Here are a couple of examples that I've played around with:

Pipe-Flo allows you to create hydraulic models of facilities and test them with whatever flowrate you want. Very useful for pump selection and control valve programming. Pump selection is always tricky by hand because centrifugal pumps' flowrate depends on the friction loss in the pipe. The friction loss is defendant on the flowrate, so pump selection is an iterative process.


Caesar II is a pipe stress analysis program I just learned how to use. It tells you where to anchor your pipe, including loads from thermal expansion.


Hysys is used by process engineers (sort of a hybrid between mechanical and chemical engineering) to design plants. I haven't messed with it too much, yet, but I hope to learn it soon.


Finite Element Analysis is used to figure out how complex structures will react to stress. One program that's very good that I know is Solidworks/COSMOS.

And then of course, there's AutoDesk. The granddaddy of all AutoCad programs. So many expansions are available, so you can get it to do whatever you want. It's also the industry standard.

HUET

HUET Escape
Originally uploaded by Noladishu

I haven't blogged much about offshore in a while. I recently uploaded some old photos, so I've got some things to share.

Helicopter Underwater Escape Training (HUET) is required for everyone offshore. It's required so you have a chance of surviving incidents like this. The training program was developed for the North Sea fields and a lot of the course still involves cold water training (dealing with hypothermia, etc.). You generally take a morning course that's videos and a written exam.

I took the course 2 1/2 years ago. Certification should be renewed every 4-5 years (it varies by company).

The afternoon consists of in-pool activities. There are basic swimming lessons, but oddly enough you don't need to know how to swim to get HUET. All HUET training is done with a life preserver. There are a lot of old guys that don't know how to swim and (in order to give them a bit of a break, because HUET hasn't always been required) it's assumed that you'll always be able to access at least a life vest. The hardest part of the afternoon, by far, is pulling yourself into a life raft. The life raft keeps moving and flexing the harder you push. You job is to pull yourself in, pull the next guy in, and then take a break because after that, you're going to be totally exhausted.

The most fun (at least for me) was the actual HUET training where you practice escaping from a downed helicopter. You have to do it at least 3 times: once being lowered with the doors and windows out, once where you have to kick the doors out, and once where the helo rolls over and then you have to extricate yourself. When the helo flips over, your nasal cavity fills with water and it feels really, really weird. Some people can't deal with that and fail. Once the helo is flipped, it takes generally at least 5 or 10 seconds to get out. I tended to take my time and did it in somewhere between 30 seconds and a minute. We had two people that couldn't swim that were able to get out in well under 10 seconds. They passed the course.

The whole thing is safe as can be. There are divers in the water. The pool is heated (an absolute necessity, when you consider how long you're in the pool during the training). I volunteered to do it a fourth time for extra training. The extra session was to practice following someone else out in case you don't get a window seat. You have to sit there strapped in while the guy next to you fumbles around with his seat belt (all the while upside down).

I look forward to renewing my certification. Enjoy the video of my coworker extricating himself.

More HUET training footage from Norway:


UPDATE- One more photo to add:

The practice pool.

Rock on, MJ

Thriller. You know you want to watch it. Click the link.

Couldn't resist posting it. Rock on, MJ.

Project Truck Update: Ticking Timebomb Edition

I've been using the truck to move things and smelled gasoline, but I assumed it was part of the usual aroma. I was showing the truck off to a certain brain-eater when he noticed a trickle of gasoline coming out from the gas tank.

Been busy, so haven't gotten a chance to fix it until today. All I had to do was play around with things and tighten them down, fortunately. I guess I didn't do a good enough job when I changed out the gas gauge. I made sure to keep a fire extinguisher handy when I was working, though. Very important. Now the fire extinguisher lives in the glove box (along with that bracket, the registration, a bottle of WD-40, random tools, and other various and sundry nebulous odds and ends).

The new house is in a 2-hour resident zone, so I had to get a permit. Now the truck has permission to lower property values in the Garden District!

Installed a second seatbelt. Anyone want to go for a ride while sitting on 20 gallons of 93 octane?

One of the older draftsmen told me that on these old trucks, there was a cruel trick you could play on your passengers: the dash is made out of bare steel and the seat only has a lap belt. Slam on the brakes and the passenger will fly forward and nail their head on the dash. Many noses were broken that way, allegedly.

"... Only the odor of decomposition stirs them into action."

"The corpse of a murdered man can lie in a New Orleans street for three days without the citizens paying it the slightest notice. Only the odor of decomposition stirs them into action."

-1849 Visitor to New Orleans

Quote from Ready to Hang: Seven Famous New Orleans Murders.

Firey Debate over Crime Funding. Riley vs. Cannizzaro for more funding. Riley wants more police overtime. Cannizzaro wants more investigators to back up his prosecutors. The pot of money they are talking about using is from unused money in Riley's budget (he can't recruit enough qualified policemen, even given NOPD's minimal standards).

Warren Riley is constantly complaining about how the numbers are making him look bad. He wants credit for "reducing violent crime," but nobody puts any stock into the NOPD's numbers.

NOPD reports reduction in rapes. By reduction, we really mean an increase, including an increase in brazen rape-abductions. Silly maths. Maybe they forgot to include the rapist-cops in their numbers when they were tallying it up. Quality recruits Riley is getting.

Witnessed threatened from jail. "I would never be a witness again – never. "

Petty, vindictive Warren Riley sends NOPD veteran to Siberia (Police Academy) until he swallows the party doctrine that the sky isn't blue. Cannizzaro bails him out, though.

911 calls by kidnapped teens goes unanswered. What happens when you need the cops, and they aren't there. Talk about an 'Oh, Shit' moment. The message that sends is, 'you can't trust 911 and the police to protect you.' NOPD: When Seconds Matter, They're Only Minutes Away. Is it any wonder that Concealed Weapons Permits are once again through the roof?

Some good news: FBI looks at cases involving New Orleans Police Department officers. The FBI has to do it because NOPD's Public Integrity Bureau, arguably Pennington's greatest accomplishment as police chief, has been destroyed by Warren Riley. Keep in mind that Riley worked for Internal Affairs and got promoted, despite being disciplined for tipping off a crooked cop (Len Davis) about his wife's complaint, leading to her murder.

Riley For Mayor? Police Chief Issues Statement. More here. Scary thing is, you can't just dismiss his candidacy out of hand. Because there is no real frontrunner and New Orleans voters are crazy enough to vote for someone, just because people don't like him, he stands more than a snowball's chance in hell of winning. DO NOT WANT!

Algiers murder adds to bloody weekend. The article ends with this:
Police don’t have suspects in four of the five shootings.

This year is already on pace to top last year's murder total and the summer is just beginning...

UPDATE- Some more to add:

Business owner murdered on the job. Ambushed from behind, peppered with rounds while doing his usual routine of refilling ATM's.

"At first, after Katrina they were very much victims," said Normand. "As the population started to grow, now they are becoming perpetrators." BULLSHIT! Sheriff Normand, instead of protecting all in his charge, is trying to gin up fear against "the illegals" to help himself out when he comes up for reelection. He need to distract people about how ineffective his "chee-wee chasing" tactics are.

Man dies in crash on stolen motorcycle. Darwin Award on a donor-cycle. Maybe the first time when the no helmet law actually did the public some good.

Three arrested for alleged plot to kill witness. And you wonder why people are reluctant to testify. Good job catching them. Let's hope they go to jail for the attempt.

Restaurant Review: Lusco's

Went up to visit my dad in the Delta and went to Lusco's for the first time (at least since I was a kid).

Lusco's has been the restaurant of the planter gentry for generations. It started out as a dry goods store with a small restaurant attached, bloomed in size in WWII and became a North Mississippi institution. Everyone up there just can't say enough about it (to the point of being mildly annoying*). It's got the reputation of being the "Galatoire's of the Delta."

One of the things I liked about the place was how creeky and old it was. The furniture in the waiting area has holes in it and depressions where many a derriere has taken a load off. The primary seating areas are wooden cubicles open at the top and curtained off with flowery cotton sheets. The measure of a man in North Mississippi is being able to land a booth on a busy Saturday on short notice. I put on my seersucker and, of course, we got in.

They're famous for 2 things: steak and seafood. I was reluctant to try the seafood, given that I'd just driven from New Orleans, but I decided to try the Pompano, one of their signature dishes:

Allegedly, one of the Galatoire family members used to trek up to Lusco's to sample the whole fish Pompano. It's cooked whole, skin, eyeballs, and all. I loved it. Part of the appeal is no place in New Orleans serves whole fish. I've heard that since so many New Orleans patrons get stupid drunk when they go out to dinner, they can't handle deboning their fish and the chefs don't want to get sued by some New Orleans lawyer that bites down on a bone. Evil lawyers ruining things for everyone else. Took me a second to figure it out how to eat it, but once I did, it was delicate, with a careful balance of lemon-citrus sauce. I also enjoyed the onion rings, gumbo, and a spinach souffle.

The other thing about the restaurant is it doesn't serve alcohol (although back during Prohibition, people came for the moonshine and homebrew beer). That doesn't discourage the patrons, though. Regulars bring fancy leather bags filled with booze and the restaurant helpfully provides "setups" (seltzer, ice, glasses, etc.). One great thing about the BYOB policy: eating there is astonishingly cheap. For fine dining, I was shocked at how low the bill was.

All in all, it's an excellent restaurant in its own right (although I'm still not sure about that whole "Galatoire's of the Delta"-thing). Just go there and enjoy it.

Lusco's
722 Carrollton Ave., Greenwood, MS
(662) 453-5365

________________________
*I wonder if it's like that when New Orleanians describe our treasured institutions...